At the end of June I decided that I was going to join a church plant my friends were starting in their home in Washington. This was a big move for me, not because I had never made a big move before, but because the last big move had ended so tragically. But what made this move possible was the fact that God was calling me there, and because it meant I was moving forward into a new season of my life. I new I needed this move, and I knew God was saying I was ready for it.
So I said yes, packed up my things, and moved to Auburn, Washington. All in a month's time! It turned out to be a big adjustment for me once I got here, but it was made better because I was living with the Antonllis, a family I already knew, and the pastors of the church plant I was now a part of. I had already visited them twice (once for a week and once for two weeks) over the last two years. So they were there for me during my time of transition. And through that, God has taught me about His grace in a new way: that I am loved and accepted regardless of how I perform. I don't have to have it all together to be accepted and loved, and I heard repeatedly in the last couple months, "you're doing great, don't worry you're doing enough!"
I had been used to doing a million things, and realized my sense of worth was wrapped up in that. Part of my sense of value was based on working hard. If I just worked hard enough in my ministry, at my job, on my relationships and on myself, then I would be accepted. But God showed me that I am accepted and loved just as I am. He loves when I work as unto him, but I learned I can only do so much. I'm only human, I'm not capable of perfection, like Him. I'm learning to trust and be happy with what I've done, and that He will do the rest. He will cause spiritual growth from the seeds I plant in other people's lives, He will grow my business and my relationships as I trust Him, and He will grow me and fix the broken areas in my life in time.
There has been so much freedom in learning to live this way, in trusting that "God causes all things to work together for the good to those who love God." (Romans 8:28) And that I am "His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them." (Ephesians 2:10) I am a precious object that God is in the midst of refining. He has also prepared for me ways to serve, I only need to walk in them, I don't need to worry about doing it perfectly, because that's God's job, He will make it perfect. I can be free to enjoy what He has prepared for me--the business, the ministry, the relationships, and myself, who He has "fearfully and wonderfully made!" (Psalms 139:14)
Another hallmark of this season the verse that lead me to say yes to joining the church plant. It is Isaiah 58: 6-8, and it basically says, as you look after the poor and the needy, then your own recovery will come quickly, and your light will shine forth like the dawn. This promise has sustained me through this season, and my aim is to continue living this out throughout my life. As I have taken my focus off myself and asked God how I can serve and benefit others, my problems diminish. It is another act of trust, stepping out in faith to help another, trusting that God will take care of my problems I leave behind. And I find over and over that as I do, not only does my own healing come, but my light shines brighter and brighter to the world!
Thank You God that Your promises are true, and that You lead me into Your best for me!
