Good things

My 34th birthday was a few days ago and it got me thinking about this past year of my life. Shortly after my 33rd year started, I told myself, 'this is going to be the worst year of my life.' It has been, and understandably so. It was the year I lost my dear wife Linda. But when I look back on it, I also see how God has carried me through the year. He has surrounded me with people and He has been close to me in my grieving like only He can.

On my birthday this year I started reading the journal that I kept when Linda was in critical condition, and in one of the first letters I wrote to our friends and family there was this verse: "How great is Your goodness, which You have stored up for those who fear You, which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You." Psalm 31:19. I thought, 'how true that verse was in our lives and how true it still is today.' When Linda died, she went to heaven, to the place God prepared for her, where she is no longer in her broken body and where she gets to live with Him forever! My heart is still broken, but knowing that she is there brings me hope.

What also brings me hope is knowing that the promise in this verse applies to me as well. It helps me get through the hard days knowing that God has good things in store for me. Sometimes the good things are small and get me through the day, like a bike ride (weather it's my bike with pedals or the one with a motor). Sometimes the good things keep me safe and covered, like living at a church and having a church family of about 30 people that I live with who are always there for me if I need it.

And I know that God's promise is true, that I won't be in grief-land forever and that this loneliness and sense of loss will subside. That God is creating good through all this tragedy and the result of this broken world. And that God has a good life in store for me in the future.